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In Soviet Russia

In Soviet Russia

Back in the Cold War era, jokes about Soviet Russia — its controlling government, its inhumane jails full of political prisoners, its miserable poverty — were hilarious. America was terrified of the Soviet Union, and all those wild-eyed Communists it contained, and making light of it knocked it down a few pegs, robbing it of some of its power. Yes, even extremely hacky jokes could do that.

Now, we’re not all that scared of Russia anymore — that is, other than its corrupt, Mob-controlled, quasi-democratic government and its unguarded nukes. But, you know…we have bigger problems now, geopolitically speaking, and our Russian anxiety seems adorably na├»ve in retrospect. We might even go so far as to say we’re actually nostalgic for the days of mutually assured destruction opposite an enemy we could easily identify. Remember? That was sweet.

Show your fondness for those bygone days because, as we all know: in America, you wear shirt. In Soviet Russia, shirt wears you!

Ready? Choose a style from the options below.